Originally written 9.19.14 on the train back to Paris and 9.21.14 after getting caught in the rain. I’m trying to get better about posting personal thoughts every now and then. These excerpts may seem a little strange and out of place, and not about Europe at all… they are just simple trails of thought that happened while I had a pen near by. Typed out so you don’t need to try and read the original.
(THE LEFT PAGE)
Here I am, on the Eurostar from London to Paris, exploring the beauty of England and France with my wife. The church steeples rise above the trees as we zip past village after village and my mind wonders to my home town.
I never thought I’d be a world traveler. I remember, as I neared the end of college, repeating, as a way of convincing myself, “if you don’t leave Toledo now, you’ll probably die here.” Truth be known, I had no problem dying in Toledo. Though an industrial manufacturing town with plenty of problems; it was home. It was comfortable and I hated leaving…. even for the summer. I would cry for an hour any time I left, praying for my family as I drove, wondering always if I was making the right choice. I was afraid of change in any form and that was my real personal problem I had to overcome. I don’t wish I would have stayed in Toledo, I love Columbus and it feels like home in every way now. I’ve since been to many countries, tons of trips and changed lots in my life. Still, I do have some lingering regrets about that first move. There were tears in my eyes and knots in my throat with every goodbye. I wonder if I did a disservice to my younger brother(s) by not having better reasons for the timing of my move. “Job opportunity and change of scene” were the best ways I could categorize my need to overcome my fear of change. I had no job lined up, no interviews, there was no compelling reason for sticking to the date I had chosen. When I got to Columbus I even kicked my friend out of his room so I could have my own space (sorry Nate). It all worked out… but looking back on it all I wish I would have taken another month to be a little more strategic about it all, and another month after that to better maintain my relationships with my brothers.
The change was proper and I needed to find my wings in many respects. But sometimes, even in Paris, I don’t mind the idea of dying in Toledo.
(THE RIGHT PAGE)
Its funny how a burst of rain can be the deciding factor to give in to your body’s need for rest. But God not only knows what the earth needs but also what we need. Though we got a little wet, running through the pouring rain to catch a glimpse of the Arc de Triomphe, I’m quite happy to now be sitting on the bed, drinking wine, listening to Tigers baseball. Dry, warm, and happy to end the day as it began… lazy and resting.
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