A year later and it still surprises me to reflect on the fact that I am mom. I am simultaneously humbled and overwhelmed with the deepest joy each and every day of this journey.
Words escape me when I try to explain the emotions of holding our child for the first time or seeing his smile when I walk into his room, snuggling him to sleep, adventuring together through the park or grocery store. He gives me so much.
A friend once told me upon finding out that I was pregnant, that I will now forever wear my heart outside of my body. It is so true. My heart now crawls around the yard, snuggles in the morning with bear and blankie, hangs with the sitter, plays at the park, surrounding George each hour of the day.
I used to marvel at moms who can jump out of bed when their child needs them, instantly calm a crying baby or patiently teach their children the simplest of task again and again, wondering, “how do they do it”. I now understand that it isn’t because when you become a mom you are instantly a more patient person, it isn’t because you magically love mornings or changing diapers either, it is because you love your child so incredibly much. A mother’s love is so powerful. It’s my love for George that fuels my strength each day or helps me laugh when puked on or simply just play on the floor for hours instead of working out or getting things done. Becoming a mother has given me a renewed opportunity to attempt to understand and experience a fraction of the love God has for us as His children. Motherhood is a humbling honor and an overwhelming realization of how intense and beautiful God’s love and provision is for us.
Through it all, Benjamin has been the perfect partner. He gives me such strength and support. He is always available for George and watching the father/ son relationship of joy, admiration and love that George has with his daddy is an incredible blessing to me!
I pray God will continue to guide me as a mother, that he would bless my feeble attempts and that George would know how much he is loved.
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